Spring

The lambs sent off to slaughter. The cattle flood the abattoir. The piglet’s shocked with electric volts and the river runs with blood.

Well what if the tables turned? Battery babies. Hang toddlers, by Achilles, up to dry. Stillbirth taxidermy. Old ladies for upholstery. Mothers milked in factories until they die.

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Starsigns

I’m trying hard to remember your social skill, but I’m honestly unsure. I’m trying hard to remember the contours of your skin, but I can’t. Parting glances are the one thing I recall. I’m looking through my old notebooks – it says our sex was filled with nervousness. I put you on a pedestal; it crumbled. It’s hard to think of you and him; it’s hard to imagine his hands upon your skin. I cannot see you with any clarity anymore. Could you tell the time; your left from your right? Are you cross eyed? Are you an early riser? Do you believe that star signs mean anything at all?

Cold Holding Unreleased #2

I am holding on to thoughts of you, to keep me sane – but in a daze, what I can’t see – it’s these thoughts that torture me. Clear your head – emptiness – try to avoid spending evenings alone. It’s cold here, the air’s thick. Just stop thinking things through and do what they tell you to do. Do you still think of me? Do you still dream of me? Tell me I’m still in your thoughts. Tell me you still hold me close to your heart. Should I write you a letter, send you a flower then wave you away? Or do I at least try to follow my heart, just like the movie scripts teach us to do?

Walk away – do it now or you’ll never escape. It’s your life; you decide.

Cold Holding Unreleased #1

It’s true, I’ve strayed, please save me. Try to follow the trail of my mind; find some way to pull me ashore. I invite you to look through my family tree – trace the poison to lessen my conscience; pinpoint the birth of this weakness in me.

Fragments – distorted, twisted and frayed; all just details of pain.

It’s true, I’ve strayed, please save me – don’t be afraid. Read through my history – memory fails me – help me to be a child again.

In Dust Or What Remains

Hold on! Hold on! The sun sets then lets the dusk lead into tomorrow; look, our skin illuminates in the light. But our eyes, oh god our eyes! They strain to see the hands, that hold the knees, beneath the sheets – knees very weak. Between the blinds and the light, a light dust settles, and in time, it’ll build to something more than it once was. Let’s run our fingers through – to write our names – and there they’ll stay, in dust. Together. Like the ash of our remains – or what remains of us.

Lose Hope

My life started with everything falling apart, this time last year, and I’ve been thinking ever since: how you believe in anything is staggering – you say your prayers to a god out there, but they’re just inside your head. If it’s for comfort on your death bed, then I get it. I understand the comfort in the thought, but then I get to thinking and I can’t. If it’s for comfort on your death bed – just forget it; the only comfort there is that it’s ending.

See, Nothing

My ex-lover said to pull myself together, but look at her – she cannot even look at me now I’m hurting. There comes a time in life, when you lose faith, in what once meant most to you – but stay strong, for just another day, and you’ll find the strength to pull through.

Just Hands

Praise the pain that helps us to feel something after the numbness. Praise the strains that help us to feel, and not just the hands that caress us. For we are alone in this life (and alive) then alone and dead, in the death that comes after. I can feel your pain and fear in the thought, that our time is so short and senseless. I would help you discover the way to an after life – if my mind wasn’t right – but I feel that it is; so all I can say is, “don’t be afraid of the end.”

Patience, Please

You say “let’s see how long it takes to fade away.” You say “don’t be afraid of change.” You say “let’s see how long it takes to fade away.” You say “we were nothing anyway.”

I’m finding out in the worst way that we’re not fine. Everything is speeding up; we’re acclimatised to save time. Your eyes – they keep averting – averting from mine. And I don’t know why we’re growing old together in my mind. Please, please be patient with me; have some patience please.

Because I am king of all the castles – when I’m here and while I’m dreaming – I could show you all the bruises up and down my spine. I could teach you all the ways to drink my spit like poison; bewildered and sun-burnt, I make my way to you.

Nothing Anyway

Please don’t shut it all down, please don’t. Please don’t let it all out, please don’t. Please don’t say you’re sorry when you’re not. Please don’t let me light you up. Please don’t hurry off; I plan to wait around. Please don’t smile when I frown – people need to think we’re walking a straight line: parallel, together, side-by-side. People need to think we’ve found the time to synchronise our lives; but yours and mine collide.

You say “let’s see how long it takes to fade away.” You say “don’t be afraid of change.” You say “let’s see how long it takes to fade away.” You say “we were nothing anyway.”

Both of us know, both of us know we’re going nowhere.

You say “it’s been coming.” You say “don’t be afraid of change.” You say “it’s been coming.” You say “we were nothing anyway.”

We’re not functional, not functional at all.